Episode 116 – The Cost of Always Being the Responsible One

Link to YouTube –  https://youtu.be/_MsAVMdNN_o
Link to BuzzSprout – https://www.buzzsprout.com/2136084/episodes/18861933

In “The Cost of Always Being the Responsible One,” Tim Goodwin and Joe Beckford talk about what it means to be the person everyone depends on. Whether you are the one managing money, planning family events, helping aging parents, or always stepping in during a crisis, being the responsible one in the family can feel both meaningful and exhausting. They describe this person as the “glue” who keeps relationships, logistics, and often finances together, even when no one else seems to notice how much they are carrying.

The episode explores the emotional toll that comes with that role, including family stress, resentment, burnout, and decision fatigue. Tim and Joe explain that a lot of this pressure comes from expecting others to think and act the same way you do, when in reality not everyone is wired to take initiative. Their message is encouraging: being dependable is a gift, but it can become heavy when you are constantly carrying the emotional and practical load for everyone around you.

A major focus of the conversation is learning to create healthy boundaries with family and friends. Tim and Joe compare it to putting on your own oxygen mask first—if you are always helping others without taking care of yourself, eventually you will run out of energy. They talk about the importance of saying no, protecting your peace, getting rest, and avoiding unhealthy financial patterns. One of their strongest cautions is against loaning money to family or friends, since those arrangements often damage trust and create even more stress. When help is truly needed and affordable, they suggest that a gift is often healthier than a loan.

They also cover practical financial habits that help responsible people stay grounded, including protecting an emergency fund, planning ahead with sinking funds, and avoiding retirement withdrawals to support others. The episode also speaks directly to those in the sandwich generation, who may be caring for both children and aging parents at the same time. In the end, Tim and Joe remind listeners that if they feel overwhelmed by always being the dependable one, they are not alone. With strong financial boundaries, thoughtful planning, and a healthier view of responsibility, it is possible to care for others without losing yourself in the process.

Additional Resources:

https://www.goodwininvestment.com/the-talk-about-money-with-dale-alexander/
https://www.goodwininvestment.com/stressed-about-financial-uncertainty-insecurity-or-your-future-retirement/
https://www.goodwininvestment.com/executive-insights/

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Goodwin Investment Advisory is an SEC-registered investment adviser (CRD #131193), and this episode is produced by evanced.net. This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not investment advice or a recommendation to buy or sell any financial products, securities, digital assets, or other investments. It should not be used as the basis for any financial decisions. The host and/or guests may personally hold investments mentioned in this episode. All investments involve risk, and past performance does not guarantee future results. Please consult with a qualified financial adviser, tax professional, and attorney before taking action on any information shared.

The following transcript of the podcast audio was software-generated, and not reviewed for accuracy. Therefore, the transcript below should not be used without verifying the validity and accuracy of its content. Please contact Goodwin Investment Advisory with any questions.

Tim (00:01)
And welcome back to the Money Pig podcast. We’re your hosts Joe Beckford and Tim Goodwin. And today we are super excited to discuss the cost of always being the responsible one. But before we do, Joe, how’s it going? Tell us something interesting about you. fan it’s going fantastic. Okay. That sounds great. Yeah. ⁓ something interesting about me. What did I say last time you asked me that question? I think I said I like to travel.

Joe (00:01)
And welcome back to the Money Pig podcast. We’re your hosts Joe Beckford and Tim Goodwin. And today we are super excited to discuss the cost of always being the responsible one. But before we do, Joe, how’s it going? Tell us something interesting about you. fan it’s going fantastic. Okay. That sounds great. Yeah. ⁓ something interesting about me. What did I say last time you asked me that question? I think I said I like to travel.

Tim (00:30)
Yeah. And I still like to travel. Same. Yeah. That really hasn’t changed since last time. New trips, all the time kind of thing. Yeah. If I’m not, if I’m not here and I’m not seeing the world, I’m figuring out how to travel. See the world. Yeah. Yeah. I got to travel recently and we went skiing and it snowed six to 10 feet of snow where we were, which I’m still trying to wrap my head around how much snow that really is, but it was a beautiful place. It made

Joe (00:30)
Yeah. And I still like to travel. Same. Yeah. That really hasn’t changed since last time. New trips, all the time kind of thing. Yeah. If I’m not, if I’m not here and I’m not seeing the world, I’m figuring out how to travel. See the world. Yeah. Yeah. I got to travel recently and we went skiing and it snowed six to 10 feet of snow where we were, which I’m still trying to wrap my head around how much snow that really is, but it was a beautiful place. It made

Tim (00:59)
maybe some of our plans for activities a little more challenging. Right. Man, and some of these places that didn’t have much snow this season, it was pretty cool to see that much snow. So, Joe, I don’t know if I told you this the other day, but my wife told me that I am the cheapest man in the world. I’m just not buying it.

Joe (00:59)
maybe some of our plans for activities a little more challenging. Right. Man, and some of these places that didn’t have much snow this season, it was pretty cool to see that much snow. So, Joe, I don’t know if I told you this the other day, but my wife told me that I am the cheapest man in the world. I’m just not buying it.

Tim (01:21)
That’s pretty good. We’re really avid readers. We encourage our clients to be readers. We send a birthday book to our clients and stuff like that. Right. I’ve been asked me what I’m reading. What are you reading? I’m reading this super cool book now about anti gravity. yeah. I can’t put it down. Can’t put it down. Just keeps floating up. Wow. That’s great. I’m glad that you’re contributing. Yeah. I appreciate that. I appreciate that.

Joe (01:21)
That’s pretty good. We’re really avid readers. We encourage our clients to be readers. We send a birthday book to our clients and stuff like that. Right. I’ve been asked me what I’m reading. What are you reading? I’m reading this super cool book now about anti gravity. yeah. I can’t put it down. Can’t put it down. Just keeps floating up. Wow. That’s great. I’m glad that you’re contributing. Yeah. I appreciate that. I appreciate that.

Tim (01:49)
You know, we can both experience the cricket. So, all right. So thank you for contributing. ⁓ So let’s get back to the cost of always being the responsible one conversation. We thought this might be helpful for folks to talk about today.

Joe (01:49)
You know, we can both experience the cricket. So, all right. So thank you for contributing. ⁓ So let’s get back to the cost of always being the responsible one conversation. We thought this might be helpful for folks to talk about today.

Tim (02:03)
can be heavy, right? Yeah, I can. Yeah. Yeah. So what does it mean? What does it mean to be the responsible one? Well, you always look, I think probably, I mean, I have clients and we all have friends and it feels like there’s always a person in the family, no matter if you have a family of three or three or 20. There’s like the one person that always just kind of steps up and picks up the mess. And we talked about how

Joe (02:03)
can be heavy, right? Yeah, I can. Yeah. Yeah. So what does it mean? What does it mean to be the responsible one? Well, you always look, I think probably, I mean, I have clients and we all have friends and it feels like there’s always a person in the family, no matter if you have a family of three or three or 20. There’s like the one person that always just kind of steps up and picks up the mess. And we talked about how

Tim (02:33)
Like with a lot of our clients are couples. And even in that case, one seems to be like leading the financial relationship maybe a little bit more than the other. Like there’s that responsible one. But in this context, I think we’re talking more about sort of in the broader context of your family, around your family and your friends, you feel like you’re the responsible one. You’re the one that got out of debt. You’re the one that has the emergency fund. You’re the one that’s picking up the check. You’re the one that’s making the plans for.

Joe (02:33)
Like with a lot of our clients are couples. And even in that case, one seems to be like leading the financial relationship maybe a little bit more than the other. Like there’s that responsible one. But in this context, I think we’re talking more about sort of in the broader context of your family around your family and your friends, you feel like you’re the responsible one. You’re the one that got out of debt. You’re the one that has the emergency fund. You’re the one that’s picking up the check. You’re the one that’s making the plans for.

Tim (03:01)
the family or their friends together or to go on a vacation with. So I think I think that that’s the kind of person that we’re talking about today is who is a responsible one and what does that mean? And often there is more of a cost than just like being the check picker upper. Sure. You know, saving the money, maybe helping with with certain expenses for families or friends. Joe, what’s like

Joe (03:01)
the family or their friends together or to go on a vacation with. So I think I think that that’s the kind of person that we’re talking about today is who is a responsible one and what does that mean? And often there is more of a cost than just like being the check picker upper. Sure. You know, saving the money, maybe helping with with certain expenses for families or friends. Joe, what’s like

Tim (03:30)
What’s the cost outside of financial of being like the glue, the responsible one? Actually, you know, maybe even add a little bit to like, what do we mean by being the glue when you’re the responsible one? Yeah, I would say like, ⁓ like in every family, there’s one and I’ve referenced, I feel like and I tell my wife that all the time, like you are the glue. And you know, her father’s even made that statement together. Like he looks, you know, back from another generation and says,

Joe (03:30)
What’s the cost outside of financial of being like the glue, the responsible one? Actually, you know, maybe even add a little bit to like, what do we mean by being the glue when you’re the responsible one? Yeah, I would say like, ⁓ like in every family, there’s one and I’ve referenced, I feel like and I tell my wife that all the time, like you are the glue. And you know, her father’s even made that statement together. Like he looks, you know, back from another generation and says,

Tim (03:59)
Wow, you’re like the glue that, you’re, you’re, you call me way more than I call you. You call, know, you reach out and you try to make things happen all the time. And she does that in our family too. And I think they’re just people who naturally gravitate towards like, if it’s not happening, I make it happen. I see it happening. It’s not okay. Like I, I’ve got like a, an extra vision that I see, like the people aren’t calling me, you know, Hey, we haven’t been to dinner with these people in a while while they haven’t called me there. So I’m going to make it happen. And they just do it.

Joe (03:59)
Wow, you’re like the glue that, you’re, you’re, you call me way more than I call you. You call, know, you reach out and you try to make things happen all the time. And she does that in our family too. And I think they’re just people who naturally gravitate towards like, if it’s not happening, I make it happen. I see it happening. It’s not okay. Like I, I’ve got like a, an extra vision that I see, like the people aren’t calling me, you know, Hey, we haven’t been to dinner with these people in a while while they haven’t called me there. So I’m going to make it happen. And they just do it.

Tim (04:30)
and do it and do it and do it. So I think, you know, we’re spiritual people here and I think everybody gets talents and I feel like that’s a talent that you’re given that just obviously not everybody else has given, but also it just weighs on you after a while, man. It’s a responsibility. So even though you do it willingly and you do it innately that you just, after a while it’s like, I’m tired. I would love for somebody else to step up and do this for me for a while.

Joe (04:30)
and do it and do it and do it. So I think, you know, we’re spiritual people here and I think everybody gets talents and I feel like that’s a talent that you’re given that just obviously not everybody else has given, but also it just weighs on you after a while, man. It’s a responsibility. So even though you do it willingly and you do it innately that you just, after a while it’s like, I’m tired. I would love for somebody else to step up and do this for me for a while.

Tim (04:57)
I it gets frustrating because you kind of… So I probably, I feel a lot as a responsible one in my family. Not just in my direct family, but in my extended family. Sometimes I’m frustrated, like, does anybody else want to send a text message and see if the family can get together? Does anybody else want to plan the vacation or whenever we’re getting together, does anybody else want to help with this kind of situation? And I find that I can get…

Joe (04:57)
I it gets frustrating because you kind of… So I probably, I feel a lot as a responsible one in my family. Not just in my direct family, but in my extended family. Sometimes I’m frustrated like, does anybody else wanna send a text message and see if the family can get together? Does anybody else want to plan the vacation or whenever we’re getting together, does anybody else wanna help with this kind of situation? And I find that like I can get…

Tim (05:26)
frustrated sometimes, but it’s because I’m putting certain expectations on family members to be like, more like me. know, God kind of gives us certain talents and gifts. And I’m not saying either that my family’s ever like ungrateful. They love that I kind of make these, you know, scheduling things happen. And we really enjoy being with each other. But I think if I just owned like, hey, this is like, this is your role. Like you get to manifest this

Joe (05:26)
frustrated sometimes, but it’s because I’m putting certain expectations on family members to be like, more like me. know, God kind of gives us certain talents and gifts. And I’m not saying either that my family’s ever like ungrateful. They love that I kind of make these, you know, scheduling things happen. And we really enjoy being with each other. But I think if I just owned like, hey, this is like, this is your role. Like you get to manifest this

Tim (05:57)
talent or skill or want that you have for the benefit of the family and just be happy that you get to do that for everybody instead of like, I somebody else would plan something. Right, right. So you can physically get tired of what I think you have to nail on the head expectations, right? Because you’re living in your own world and you have your own experience and you know how you feel and how you think. So the natural.

Joe (05:57)
talent or skill or want that you have for the benefit of the family and just be happy that you get to do that for everybody instead of like, I somebody else would plan something. Right, right. So you can physically get tired of what I think you have to nail on the head expectations, right? Because you’re living in your own world and you have your own experience and you know how you feel and how you think. So the natural.

Tim (06:17)
inclination is, well, everybody must feel that way. And not everybody does. They’re just not wired that way. haven’t gotten together in a while. Last time we got together was great. They might not be. They might not be. And so, yeah. I like how you said I need to just adjust my own expectations. And I think it goes beyond just getting frustrated. I mean, I think you can, if you don’t shift like I was talking about, that can kind of lead into resentment, right? Into stress, like…

Joe (06:17)
inclination is, well, everybody must feel that way. And not everybody does. They’re just not wired that way. haven’t gotten together in a while. Last time we got together was great. They might not be. They might not be. And so, yeah. I like how you said I need to just adjust my own expectations. And I think it goes beyond just getting frustrated. I mean, I think you can, if you don’t shift like I was talking about, that can kind of lead into resentment, right? Into stress, like…

Tim (06:45)
decision fatigue because you feel like you’re making all the decisions. I do find that sometimes I can still be the responsible one, but kind of share some of the load of decision making. I think the biggest pull that I do for my family is just to get something scheduled. But after that, you know, typically the wives end up texting about food or something like that. And the time kind of the location starts to kind of figure itself out and, those kinds of things. So it’s not like I had to decide every tiny detail and end up with

Joe (06:45)
decision fatigue because you feel like you’re making all the decisions. I do find that sometimes I can still be the responsible one, but kind of share some of the load of decision making. I think the biggest pull that I do for my family is just to get something scheduled. But after that, you know, typically the wives end up texting about food or something like that. And the time kind of the location starts to kind of figure itself out and, those kinds of things. So it’s not like I had to decide every tiny detail and end up with

Tim (07:14)
with a lot of fatigue at that point. Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t know if there’s any other costs that you feel like Mary Ellen goes through. Like, does she get frustrated? Does she feel like? Sure. Yeah, sure. Some other folks can be pushing in here. Does anybody care? Yeah, but I think in the end, you get to that point where you’re like, wow, I’ve been doing a lot of the heavy lifting for a really long time. But I think the way you just described it, reframe it like, well,

Joe (07:14)
with a lot of fatigue at that point. Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t know if there’s any other costs that you feel like Mary Ellen goes through. Like, does she get frustrated? Does she feel like? Sure. Yeah, sure. Some other folks can be pushing in here. Does anybody care? Yeah, but I think in the end, you get to that point where you’re like, wow, I’ve been doing a lot of the heavy lifting for a really long time. But I think the way you just described it, reframe it like, well,

Tim (07:40)
I’ve been doing this heavy lifting, but God gave me the muscles to be able to do this. And he didn’t necessarily give everybody else that. So there’s just this constant reframing of like, hey, rather than feeling fatigued, look at the blessing side of it that you’re able to do this and stuff like that. But then there’s also the boundary part too, right? Like to give and give and give and put out your energy and your time and your talent to make sure everybody gets together all the time and do all the things. ⁓ You can’t just pour out of your cup.

Joe (07:40)
I’ve been doing this heavy lifting, but God gave me the muscles to be able to do this. And he didn’t necessarily give everybody else that. So there’s just this constant reframing of like, hey, rather than feeling fatigued, look at the blessing side of it that you’re able to do this and stuff like that. But then there’s also the boundary part too, right? Like to give and give and give and put out your energy and your time and your talent to make sure everybody gets together all the time and do all the things. ⁓ You can’t just pour out of your cup.

Tim (08:09)
forever and not let it be refilled. I think that’s kind of the next thing is you got to set some boundaries around that. in this part too, there is a balance to like, maybe I just want it more than everybody else does. Maybe I think they all want to get together. Maybe I think they need my help. Maybe they don’t as much. Maybe not. Yeah. Yeah. And like, what is something that like I’m just driving to try to make happen from just sheer willpower and effort. Maybe like nobody else wants to push this flywheel. Like maybe I could just.

Joe (08:09)
forever and not let it be refilled. I think that’s kind of the next thing is you got to set some boundaries around that. in this part too, there is a balance to like, maybe I just want it more than everybody else does. Maybe I think they all want to get together. Maybe I think they need my help. Maybe they don’t as much. Maybe not. Yeah. Yeah. And like, what is something that like I’m just driving to try to make happen from just sheer willpower and effort. Maybe like nobody else wants to push this flywheel. Like maybe I could just.

Tim (08:40)
Maybe I could just take a breather. So here’s a question I’ve got. How do you know you’re the responsible one? And I’ve got a quick answer to my own question. If you are listed as the executor or the executress in your parents’ will, you are the responsible one, right? ⁓ That’s a dead giveaway. I’m not so sure they would consider me the responsible one. If you’re listed, you are. If you are the house that the parents are gonna move in with,

Joe (08:40)
Maybe I could just take a breather. So here’s a question I’ve got. How do you know you’re the responsible one? And I’ve got a quick answer to my own question. If you are listed as the executor or the executress in your parents’ will, you are the responsible one, right? That’s a dead giveaway. I’m not so sure they would consider me the responsible one. If you’re listed, you are. If you are the house that the parents are gonna move in with,

Tim (09:07)
you know, at some point when their mobility is declining, you are the responsible one. Guess what? It’s you, buddy. Yeah, they’re looking to you. So obviously, you know that if people are coming to you asking for loans, which we highly recommend never doing that to friends or family members, but no, that turns into do we have any clients that experiences feeling Joe?

Joe (09:07)
you know, at some point when their mobility is declining, you are the responsible one. Guess what? It’s you, buddy. Yeah, they’re looking to you. So obviously, you know that if people are coming to you asking for loans, which we highly recommend never doing that to friends or family members, but no, that turns into do we have any clients that experiences feeling Joe?

Tim (09:29)
All of them. Okay, yeah, they do tend to be the responsible ones, the ones that find us, right? I mean, there are great examples and I always ask people, ⁓ know, particularly when we’re starting to get to know somebody, a new client and a new relationship. And one thing we always talk about is, tell me about your family because that tends to be one of the most important things to them. And I always ask, do you still have your parents with you? Are they living and what is their health like? And what does that look like? And you know, you quickly find out like people are.

Joe (09:29)
All of them. Okay, yeah, they do tend to be the responsible ones, the ones that find us, right? I mean, there are great examples and I always ask people, ⁓ know, particularly when we’re starting to get to know somebody, a new client and a new relationship. And one thing we always talk about is, tell me about your family because that tends to be one of the most important things to them. And I always ask, do you still have your parents with you? Are they living and what is their health like? And what does that look like? And you know, you quickly find out like people are.

Tim (09:57)
often responsible either financially or around health or having somebody like you said, if your parents are going to be the ones moving in with you or something like that where they’re, they’re responsible for their parents either financially or for providing living or, or I’m, I’m the Uber. I get to take mom to all the doctor’s appointments and all the things and stuff like that. You know, you have a responsibility level and ⁓ for better or worse, a lot of times that’s geographic too.

Joe (09:57)
often responsible either financially or around health or having somebody like you said, if your parents are going to be the ones moving in with you or something like that where they’re, they’re responsible for their parents either financially or for providing living or, or I’m, I’m the Uber. I get to take mom to all the doctor’s appointments and all the things and stuff like that. You know, you have a responsibility level and ⁓ for better or worse, a lot of times that’s geographic too.

Tim (10:24)
If you’re the kid that is closest to the parents and all the kids move away. that I hear from sometimes are like, yeah, know, mom and mom and dad live seven hours away. have a brother or sister who lives five minutes away and I’m the one that gets the phone call all the time. I’m the one that has to fix all the things. And then there’s this frustration, like, why isn’t my sibling helping me? And they’re not wired like that. know, so we just happens a lot.

Joe (10:24)
If you’re the kid that is closest to the parents and all the kids move away. that I hear from sometimes are like, yeah, know, mom and mom and dad live seven hours away. have a brother or sister who lives five minutes away and I’m the one that gets the phone call all the time. I’m the one that has to fix all the things. And then there’s this frustration, like, why isn’t my sibling helping me? And they’re not wired like that. know, so we just happens a lot.

Tim (10:55)
Justin, one of the advisors on our team was just telling us about a client that sometimes we call they’re stuck in the sandwich generation. Tell me about the sandwich, like pastrami and sauerkraut and all. I then was the Thousand Island dressing. a little ruben. Yeah, let’s talk about it. That’s a good place to be in the middle of Joe right there. So now I’m hungry. That’s not what I was talking about. Yeah, not that kind of sandwich. ⁓ so we’ve got ⁓ Justin’s clients, right? And so

Joe (10:55)
Justin, one of the advisors on our team was just telling us about a client that sometimes we call they’re stuck in the sandwich generation. Tell me about the sandwich, like pastrami and sauerkraut and all. I then was the Thousand Island dressing. a little ruben. Yeah, let’s talk about it. That’s a good place to be in the middle of Joe right there. So now I’m hungry. That’s not what I was talking about. Yeah, not that kind of sandwich. ⁓ so we’ve got ⁓ Justin’s clients, right? And so

one of the moms has got some kind of mobility, declining mobility issues. And so they are remodeling the basement so that that mom can move in. They’ve still got a daughter in high school, right? So they’re still, it’s not like they’re empty nesters, they’re still taking care of their kids, but now they’re also taking care of their parents. So they’re kind of stuck in the middle, ⁓ taking care of the top and the bottom. And that definitely makes you feel like the responsible one really, really fast.

Tim (11:22)
one of the moms has got some kind of mobility, declining mobility issues, and so they are remodeling the basement so that that mom can move in. They’ve still got a daughter in high school, right? So they’re still, it’s not like they’re empty nesters, they’re still taking care of their kids, but now they’re also taking care of their parents. So they’re kind of stuck in the middle, taking care of the top and the bottom. And that definitely makes you feel like the responsible one really, really fast.

Right. So Joe, what does a healthy version of being the responsible one look like?

Joe (11:48)
Right. So Joe, what does a healthy version of being the responsible one look like?

Tim (11:57)
Well, it’s tough and it’s learned because if you’re the responsible one, you probably are just used to pouring out and you probably feel like it’s either your responsibility or your inherent ⁓ need, calling purpose, whatever, to say yes. And sometimes you have to say no. How do you say it again? You gotta put your tongue to the roof or your mouth. Yeah, numb a little bit.

Joe (11:57)
Well, it’s tough and it’s learned because if you’re the responsible one, you probably are just used to pouring out and you probably feel like it’s either your responsibility or your inherent ⁓ need, calling purpose, whatever to say yes. And sometimes you have to say no. How do you say it again? You gotta put your tongue to the roof or your mouth. Yeah, a little bit.

Tim (12:22)
No. Is that how say that word? It is hard, right? That doesn’t make sense. always say that a whole lot. So, you I like to travel. You like to travel. When you get on a plane and they give you the safety video and they talk about the oxygen masks that are going to come down. Yeah. Do they tell you, Mr. Responsible One, make sure that when that comes down, you put it on your child. Right. No. No. I put it on you first. You have to put it on you first because are you going to be the one that helps the child? Absolutely, you are. But if you’re unconscious because…

Joe (12:22)
No. Is that how say that word? It is hard, right? That doesn’t make sense. always say that a whole lot. So, you I like to travel. You like to travel. When you get on a plane and they give you the safety video and they talk about the oxygen masks that are going to come down. Yeah. Do they tell you, Mr. Responsible One, make sure that when that comes down, you put it on your child. Right. No. No. I put it on you first. You have to put it on you first because are you going to be the one that helps the child? Absolutely, you are. But if you’re unconscious because…

Tim (12:51)
You were trying to help them and then you passed out. Guess who you can’t help is you, right? So I always tell clients, I use that analogy a lot. I love that. Like you have to take care of yourself. You have to fill up your own bucket. You have to help yourself. And that might mean in this situation, this, you know, this sandwich clients and I have some of those as well. It’s like, get enough sleep. Say no sometimes realize that maybe the kids in that situation don’t need 12 sports. Maybe they only need one. Maybe you.

Joe (12:51)
You were trying to help them and then you passed out. Guess who you can’t help is you, right? So I always tell clients, I use that analogy a lot. I love that. Like you have to take care of yourself. You have to fill up your own bucket. You have to help yourself. And that might mean in this situation, this, you know, this sandwich clients and I have some of those as well. It’s like, get enough sleep. Say no sometimes realize that maybe the kids in that situation don’t need 12 sports. Maybe they only need one. Maybe you.

Tim (13:20)
You just can’t do that at a time in a sort of loving way. Maybe you need to have a therapist. Maybe you need to have some respite care. Sometimes you know, we used to do foster parenting and there was a thing called respite care. yeah, you get too busy. It’s like, it’s a big deal. need to take care of these for a or two. it’s not natural. it’s it’s not only okay. I think it’s it’s necessary because if you burn out too much, you can’t help anybody. Totally.

Joe (13:20)
You just can’t do that at a time in a sort of loving way. Maybe you need to have a therapist. Maybe you need to have some respite care. Sometimes you know, we used to do foster parenting and there was a thing called respite care. yeah, you get too busy. It’s like, it’s a big deal. need to take care of these for a or two. it’s not natural. it’s it’s not only okay. I think it’s it’s necessary because if you burn out too much, you can’t help anybody. Totally.

Tim (13:49)
I think that’s awesome. think a big part of a healthy being the responsible and looks like somebody saying no, like you’re saying, and then setting these healthy boundaries of what you are willing or not willing to do. Like we mentioned it before, no loans. Do not give loans. Why, Tim? Why do you not like loans? Well, generally, I just ask people, if you’ve ever given anybody a loan, how did that change the relationship and did it change it in a good way? I don’t really…

Joe (13:49)
I think that’s awesome. think a big part of a healthy being the responsible and looks like somebody saying no, like you’re saying, and then setting these healthy boundaries of what you are willing or not willing to do. Like we mentioned it before, no loans. Do not give loans. Why, Tim? Why do you not like loans? Well, generally, I just ask people, if you’ve ever given anybody a loan, how did that change the relationship and did it change it in a good way? I don’t really…

Tim (14:18)
hear stories from folks that loan money to other people and like, we’re the best of friends now or so much tighter. That’s such a great decision that us so much stronger. I biblically, in Proverbs, it says the borrower or slave to the lender. So now you’ve turned your friend or your family member into your slave. I don’t think that’s a healthy way to adjust your relationship. definitely note to the loans, if your friend or your family member really needs the money and you’ve got the money to give, then just give it.

Joe (14:18)
hear stories from folks that loan money to other people and like, we’re the best of friends now or so much tighter. That’s such a great decision that us so much stronger. I biblically, in Proverbs, it says the borrower or slave to the lender. So now you’ve turned your friend or your family member into your slave. I don’t think that’s a healthy way to adjust your relationship. definitely note to the loans, if your friend or your family member really needs the money and you’ve got the money to give, then just give it.

Tim (14:49)
Or if you got the money alone and that’s what you were thinking, but just give it, just give it away. Just, it’s just. Yeah, absolutely. Then it’s a gift. And then there’s no strings. And then try not to have any strings attached. That gets, you know, that can be done incorrectly as well. I think kind of was talking about too, like before, share some decision-making stuff. If you’re trying to make something happen and nobody else is helping you make the decision and sharing the load, then maybe you’re trying to do something that only you want. So recognize that. On the emergency fund too, like you really have to protect.

Joe (14:49)
Or if you got the money alone and that’s what you were thinking, but just give it, just give it away. Just, it’s just. Yeah, absolutely. Then it’s a gift. And then there’s no strings. And then try not to have any strings attached. That gets, you know, that can be done incorrectly as well. I think kind of was talking about too, like before, share some decision-making stuff. If you’re trying to make something happen and nobody else is helping you make the decision and sharing the load, then maybe you’re trying to do something that only you want. So recognize that. On the emergency fund too, like you really have to protect.

Tim (15:19)
the peace that having a fully funded emergency fund gives you. So when we are talking about making gifts or making loans, kind like you were talking about with the oxygen mask, don’t do that at the point that it hurts you. It puts you in a financial situation that you’re at risk. You’re the one that’s worked hard for that money. You worked hard not to spend it. You stuck it in that bank account. It’s not necessarily earning your interest, it’s earning you peace. And don’t let other folks destroy that.

Joe (15:19)
the peace that having a fully funded emergency fund gives you. So when we are talking about making gifts or making loans, kind like you were talking about with the oxygen mask, don’t do that at the point that it hurts you. It puts you in a financial situation that you’re at risk. You’re the one that’s worked hard for that money. You worked hard not to spend it. You stuck it in that bank account. It’s not necessarily earning your interest, it’s earning you peace. And don’t let other folks destroy that.

Tim (15:44)
piece that you’ve built. if you’ve got some excess emergency funds beyond your retirement account, all that stuff, and you want to do some gifts, that’s, that’s where we would consider it being potentially healthy. And then the sinking funds, if there are things coming up, the good responsible, healthy, responsible person will save in advance. So they need to have a $10, $12,000 expense a year from now, they’re putting $1,000 a month away and building that up. You know,

Joe (15:44)
piece that you’ve built. if you’ve got some excess emergency funds beyond your retirement account, all that stuff, and you want to do some gifts, that’s, that’s where we would consider it being potentially healthy. And then the sinking funds, if there are things coming up, the good responsible, healthy, responsible person will save in advance. So they need to have a $10, $12,000 expense a year from now, they’re putting $1,000 a month away and building that up. You know,

Tim (16:14)
I have this story and then I think it kind of ties in but if it doesn’t, it’s just a fun story. So we’re just gonna throw this out about might just be a bonus just a bonus bonus content. You’ve gotten this far but wait, there’s more. So I do love to play cards.

Joe (16:14)
I have this story and then I think it kind of ties in but if it doesn’t, it’s just a fun story. So we’re just gonna throw this out about might just be a bonus just a bonus bonus content. You’ve gotten this far but wait, there’s more. So I do love to play cards.

Tim (16:31)
And to a degree… three card Monte? If we played that right now, would you be good with I don’t even know what you’re talking about. Three card Monte? Maybe just top me kings in the corner. That’s been pretty awesome. I don’t think you can lose enough money at that game. Oh, no! Uh-oh. Maybe I do need to find out about this card game before I play It’s like the Scheister’s on the street. They got three cards. They’re like, okay, pick the queen and they move it around. And then, you know, before you know it, you’ve given your whole wallet away. Oh, my goodness.

Joe (16:31)
And to a degree… three card Monte? If we played that right now, would you be good with I don’t even know what you’re talking about. Three card Monte? Maybe just top me kings in the corner. That’s been pretty awesome. I don’t think you can lose enough money at that game. Oh, no! Uh-oh. Maybe I do need to find out about this card game before I play It’s like the Scheister’s on the street. They got three cards. They’re like, okay, pick the queen and they move it around. And then, you know, before you know it, you’ve given your whole wallet away. Oh, my goodness.

Tim (16:56)
Is that like anytime you’re like, okay, which cup is it under? Is it kind of like that? If you’re betting money? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. It’s like that. Well, I’m sure you meant is, you know what? I’m sure in Vegas, you can probably find somebody that’s taking a bet on that. But I am talking about going to Vegas and doing some gambling. But what we do is we go with the budget. We go with an amount. Our plan is to spend that budget at the casino. We really enjoy more and I really love playing craps, a little bit of blackjack, but we really love playing craps and we just have a good time. And

Joe (16:56)
Is that like anytime you’re like, okay, which cup is it under? Is it kind of like that? If you’re betting money? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. It’s like that. Well, I’m sure you meant is, you know what? I’m sure in Vegas, you can probably find somebody that’s taking a bet on that. But I am talking about going to Vegas and doing some gambling. But what we do is we go with the budget. We go with an amount. Our plan is to spend that budget at the casino. We really enjoy more and I really love playing craps, a little bit of blackjack, but we really love playing craps and we just have a good time. And

Tim (17:25)
Our plan is to spend all that money. To us, we look at it like this is what we’re paying for, you know, having fun. And in Vegas, it comes with some drinks, so there’s at least that, you know? And we just enjoy the time and enjoy the fun of playing the cards and the winning and the losing. For us, if we come home with any part of that budget we want, like we’re up, because our expectation is to spend that money. That budget is supposed to be spent. But once it’s spent, we’re done. I mean, we have a budget per day.

Joe (17:25)
Our plan is to spend all that money. To us, we look at it like this is what we’re paying for, you know, having fun. And in Vegas, it comes with some drinks, so there’s at least that, you know. And we just enjoy the time and enjoy the fun of playing the cards and the winning and the losing. For us, if we come home with any part of that budget we want, like we’re up, because our expectation is to spend that money. That budget is supposed to be spent. But once it’s spent, we’re done. I mean, we have a budget per day.

Tim (17:55)
which is basically like if we went with $1,000 and we were going to be there for three days, our budget the first day is $333.33. So if we run out, we’re done for the day. Done, right? Yeah, we’re done. You know, if we’re up, maybe we divide that by two tomorrow. I don’t know, you know, but that’s that’s how we do it. That’s how I feel like we’re responsible with it. And that’s how often we come back from Vegas. We don’t go to Vegas a ton. But that’s just it. We feel up if we have any part of that, you thousand dollar budget and that example. So I think

Joe (17:55)
which is basically like if we went with a thousand dollars and we were going to be there for three days, our budget the first day is $333.33. So if we run out, we’re done for the day. Done, right? Yeah, we’re done. You know, if we’re up, maybe we divide that by two tomorrow. I don’t know, you know, but that’s that’s how we do it. That’s how I feel like we’re responsible with it. And that’s how often we come back from Vegas. We don’t go to Vegas a ton, but that’s just it. We feel up if we have any part of that, you thousand dollar budget and that example. So I think

Tim (18:25)
Setting those limits on budgeting helps you be responsible as well. So it’s like a sinking fund or you know Yeah, letting it go into our emergency protecting your emergency and fun protecting your retirement savings and things like that I’ve known people who are like, yeah I’m gonna start dipping into my retirement savings for my kids college right or whatever and you’re like, whoa Whoa, there’s to me the boundary discussion means a memory dividend. I’m paying for that memory You know to have that time to have that good time

Joe (18:25)
Setting those limits on budgeting helps you be responsible as well. So it’s like a sinking fund or you know Yeah, letting it go into our emergency protecting your emergency and fun protecting your retirement savings and things like that I’ve known people who are like, yeah I’m gonna start dipping into my retirement savings for my kids college right or whatever and you’re like, whoa Whoa, there’s to me the boundary discussion means a memory dividend. I’m paying for that memory You know to have that time to have that good time

Tim (18:53)
Right, but you’re budgeting for it. That’s right. You’re not going into debt for it, you know, either on a credit card or into your emergency fund. know, to me those are like, ooh, that’s money I can’t afford to do. So if that were the case, you wouldn’t do it. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. All right, Joe, as we wrap up here, any final words on being the responsible one or anything you want a listener who’s here and going, yeah, I think I’m the responsible one to hear? I think if you’re the responsible one, just know that you’re not alone.

Joe (18:53)
Right, but you’re budgeting for it. That’s right. You’re not going into debt for it, you know, either on a credit card or into your emergency fund. know, to me those are like, ooh, that’s money I can’t afford to do. So if that were the case, you wouldn’t do it. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. All right, Joe, as we wrap up here, any final words on being the responsible one or anything you want a listener who’s here and going, yeah, I think I’m the responsible one to hear? I think if you’re the responsible one, just know that you’re not alone.

Tim (19:20)
There’s lot of us in the room, apparently, or at least that we would feel like, I feel that as well. always did in my, you know, in my small family growing up, I always kind of felt that way too. So you’re not alone. And I think what you said too is when, ⁓ when potentially you get fatigued about it, just, you know, reframe it and realize it is a blessing. And ⁓ it’s a gift that not everybody has. And we always have to understand not everybody thinks like we do. And that’s okay. They can think differently and I can live my gift.

Joe (19:20)
There’s a lot of us in the room, apparently, or at least that we would feel like, I feel that as well. always did in my, you know, in my small family growing up, I always kind of felt that way too. So you’re not alone. And I think what you said too is when, ⁓ when potentially you get fatigued about it, just, you know, reframe it and realize it is a blessing. And ⁓ it’s a gift that not everybody has. And we always have to understand not everybody thinks like we do. And that’s okay. They can think differently and I can live my gift.

Tim (19:50)
As long as I protect my boundaries, you know, it can bring you a lot of joy to be the responsible one too. You get a lot of fulfilling things you put together, cool trips and you do a lot of cool things and then you get to create a lot of memories that had you not been the one doing it, it wouldn’t have happened. So, you know, it’s got lots of rewards. lots of upside. Yeah, that’s great. That’s great. So if you are listening and you do feel like you are the responsible one, we want you alone. We want you. And so certainly be encouraged to start a conversation with us.

Joe (19:50)
As long as I protect my boundaries, you know, it can bring you a lot of joy to be the responsible one too. You get a lot of fulfilling things you put together, cool trips and you do a lot of cool things and then you get to create a lot of memories that had you not been the one doing it, it wouldn’t have happened. So, you know, it’s got lots of rewards. lots of upside. Yeah, that’s great. That’s great. So if you are listening and you do feel like you are the responsible one, we want you alone. We want you. And so certainly be encouraged to start a conversation with us.

Tim (20:19)
To do that, you go to goodoneinvestment.com, click schedule, and then you’ll call. If that’s something you feel like you’re ready to do, we would be excited to talk to you. Joe, we’d love to sign off with gratitude. So what are you grateful for today?

Joe (20:19)
To do that, you go to goodoneinvestment.com, click schedule, and then you’ll call. If that’s something you feel like you’re ready to do, we would be excited to talk to you. Joe, we’d love to sign off with gratitude. So what are you grateful for today?

Tim (20:36)
I changed my mind based on this. I think I’m grateful that I’m the responsible one. Oh, wow. mean, not necessarily like between me and my wife. It’s probably her. Let’s be real. It’s probably her. But like the way I grew up in my nuclear family, if you will. Yeah, I think that was a blessing, though. I don’t think I would have switched that around and been the one that had to rely on people to make stuff happen or it didn’t happen. Well, I learned the hard way. You don’t have to.

Joe (20:36)
I changed my mind based on this. I think I’m grateful that I’m the responsible one. Oh, wow. mean, not necessarily like between me and my wife. It’s probably her. Let’s be real. It’s probably her. But like the way I grew up in my nuclear family, if you will. Yeah, I think that was a blessing, though. I don’t think I would have switched that around and been the one that had to rely on people to make stuff happen or it didn’t happen. Well, I learned the hard way. You don’t have to.

Tim (21:04)
Yeah, yeah, so I think I think I’m responsible path. I think I’m grateful for that for the gifts have been given. That’s awesome. Yeah, how about you? Mine’s super random, but I am grateful for really great cough drops. So you know what I want to say? Tell me more like is doTERRA right, Mandy? What are the name of these cough drops that I like so probably breathe, breathe and on guard so.

Joe (21:04)
Yeah, yeah, so I think I think I’m responsible path. I think I’m grateful for that for the gifts have been given. That’s awesome. Yeah, how about you? Mine’s super random, but I am grateful for really great cough drops. So you know what I want to say? Tell me more like is doTERRA right, Mandy? What are the name of these cough drops that I like so probably breathe, breathe and on guard so.

Tim (21:28)
And as a responsible one, generally around the cold seasons have a few in my pocket. So if anybody needs a really awesome cough drop, but my kids are always like, dad, where’s those cough drops? know, so I think Raven said the other day, he’s like, I know where you keep your cough drops in your office. And I needed one the other day. I hope you’re okay. I just snuck in there and grab it like, man, have a cough drop whenever you want. So I’m grateful to live in a day and a time where there’s really great cough drops out there during the cold season.

Joe (21:28)
And as a responsible one, generally around the cold seasons have a few in my pocket. So if anybody needs a really awesome cough drop, but my kids are always like, dad, where’s those cough drops? know, so I think Raven said the other day, he’s like, I know where you keep your cough drops in your office. And I needed one the other day. I hope you’re okay. I just snuck in there and grab it like, man, have a cough drop whenever you want. So I’m grateful to live in a day and a time where there’s really great cough drops out there during the cold season.

Tim (21:56)
Totally right. Responsible and random. That’s the responsible and random answer I’ve got for you guys. Well, if you made it this far, thank you guys so much for listening. And we appreciate you so much. Have a great day. Bye bye.

Joe (21:56)
Totally right. Responsible and random. That’s the responsible and random answer I’ve got for you guys. Well, if you made it this far, thank you guys so much for listening. And we appreciate you so much. Have a great day. Bye bye.

The Money PIG podcast is hosted by Reid Trego. Goodwin Investment Advisory is a Registered Investment Advisory firm regulated by the Securities and Exchange Commission in accordance and compliance with securities laws and regulations. Goodwin Investment Advisory does not render or offer to render personalized investment or tax advice through the Money PIG podcast. The information provided is for informational purposes only and does not constitute financial, tax, investment or legal advice.

For personalized financial guidance, schedule an schedule an intro call with our team at Goodwin Investment Advisory in Canton, GA . Our CFP® professionals can provide advice and help you navigate how to invest your wealth and plan for your retirement. We’d love to help you live out your legacy!

Goodwin Investment Advisory is a Registered Investment Advisory firm regulated by the Securities and Exchange Commission in accordance and compliance with securities laws and regulations. Goodwin Investment Advisory does not render or offer to render personalized investment or tax advice through the Money PIG podcast. The information provided is for informational purposes only and does not constitute financial, tax, investment or legal advice.